10 Ways to Say 'No' That Won't Damage Business or Relationships

A successful entrepreneur must be accountable for all
commitments, and manage expectations to make this
possible. So here are some tips I have learned over the
years from strong leaders that can help you say no
without damaging current business relationships or
future opportunities:
1. Establish boundaries and honor them for
all to see.
Let your constituents know your priorities and limits.
Don’t continually break your own rules about when you
are available or what requests are acceptable. Your
actions must match your words, so don’t say yes when
you mean no.
2. Ask for time to check your calendar.
It’s an acceptable business practice to review your
schedule or converse with other principals before
committing to an answer. Don’t respond with a quick yes
that you can’t deliver, or a quick no that will ruin a
relationship. In all cases, it’s important to commit to a
date or time for a final yes or no.
3. Give credence to your initial instinct.
Recognize that your brain and your body often register
information that is more accurate than an optimistic
emotional reaction, or a negative reaction after a long
hard day. Take a deep breath, clear your mind of any
external distractions, and analyze your gut reaction
before providing any answer.
4. Voice both the pros and cons to a
trusted cohort.
Speaking the considerations out loud will help you make
sure you understand the full implications of either a yes
or a no answer. Every yes answer increases your
workload, and every no answer may cut off an
opportunity you need down the road. Talking it out also
buys you time.
5. Explore the possibility of a reciprocal
favor.
This will help the requester understand the impact of the
request, and potentially reconsider. In other cases, you
may actually get back more than you give up. Every yes
should be a win-win proposition, just like strategic
partnerships can bring huge growth to both businesses,
despite the work.
Related: Why 'No' is the Kindest Word in the
Professional Lexicon
6. Explain your constraints before saying
no.
Rejection without giving context implies an unreasonable
request or a problem with the requestor. People making
a request may not understand your budget limitations,
current workload or competitive pressures. In this
context, you can also make an encouraging statement
about future requests.
7. Say yes to the person and no to the
task.
Make sure the requestor understands first how positively
you feel about them, despite the fact that the requested
task cannot be accommodated in your current workload,
strategy or other boundary. Requestors are then less
likely to be left with the impression that your rejection is
a personal affront.
8. Sandwich your no between two
positives.
Make your answer more palatable with a positive
explanation. For example, if your partner asks you to
cover a conference, but you have development deadlines
at risk, explain these commitments (first yes), how they
lock you in town (no), and finish by confirming your
focus to an on-time product (second yes).
9. Defer the decision to a better
environment.
Ask for the opportunity to discuss the request when you
can give the requestor your full attention. When you are
in the normal chaos of the startup day, both parties can
be easily misinterpreted. Pay attention to body language
and tone that often make the negative response more
difficult to receive.
10. Make sure your words are non-
defensive but clearly stated.
No one wins when a requestor reads your softly spoken
no as a yes or a maybe. Long, detailed explanations are
usually read as defensive or confrontational. The answer
should be strong and non-emotional. Just say no clearly,
and smile as you say it.
You don’t have to be viewed as a yes person to be
viewed as a leader. In fact, if you look at the leaders
around you, they are not afraid to say no to the
conventional wisdom, and they gain respect for doing it.
They have learned the art of saying no with the same
conviction and passion they use in saying yes. That’s
the best way to change the world and save yourself, so
start today.