6 Things Happy People Never Do

Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time
expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing
kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing
to meaningful goals, savoring life’s little pleasures,
and so on and so forth.
But they NEVER…
1. Mind other people’s business.
Forget about what others are doing. Stop looking at
where they are and what they have. Nobody is doing
better than you because nobody can do better than
you. YOU are walking your own path. Sometimes the
reason we struggle with insecurity is because we
compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with
everyone else’s public highlight reel. We listen to the
noise of the world, instead of ourselves. So stop the
comparisons! Ignore the distractions. Listen to your
own inner voice.  Mind your own business.
Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to
your heart and dedicate time to them every day.
Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to
enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or
negativity stop you from being the best you can be.
Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for
YOU. Because when you are focused on meaningful
work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing
can shake you. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in
the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000 Little Things
Happy, Successful People Do Differently .)
2. Seek validation of self-worth from others.
When you are content to simply be yourself, without
comparing and competing to impress others,
everyone worthwhile will respect you. And even
more importantly, you will respect yourself.
How are you letting others define you? What would
you do differently if you knew nobody would judge
you?
Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.
People may have heard your stories, and they may
think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are
going through; they aren’t living YOUR life. So forget
what they think and say about you. Focus on how
you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path
that feels best under your feet.
Those who accept you are your friends .  Those who
don’t are your teachers. If someone calls you
something and it’s true, it’s not your problem
because it’s true. If someone calls you something and
it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not
true. Either way, whatever they call you is not your
problem. What other people call you is their
problem…
What you call yourself, and who you decide to
become, is your problem.
3. Rely on other people and external events
for happiness.
Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have
now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we
don’t need to acquire anything more to be content
with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone
else’s permission to be happy. Your life is
magnificent not because someone says it is, or
because you have acquired something new, but
because you choose to see it as such. Don’t let your
happiness be held hostage. It is always yours to
choose, to live and experience.
As soon as you stop making everyone and everything
else responsible for your happiness, the happier
you’ll be. If you’re unhappy now, it’s not someone
else’s fault.  Take full responsibility for your own
unhappiness, and you will instantly gain the ability to
be happier. Stop seeking in vain to arrange
conditions that will make you happy. Simply choose
to appreciate the greatness that is yours in this
moment, and the right conditions will start to line up
around the contentment you seek.
The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness
depends upon your outlook, and not upon our
situation. Even if things aren’t perfect right now,
think of all the beauty still left around you. A good
reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to
tap into it any time you like. (Read The Gifts of
Imperfection .)
4. Hold on to resentment.
Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the
ghosts from your past. What happened in the past is
just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book,
just turn the page.
We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by
others, and while the pain of these experiences is
normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. Feelings of
resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and
over, and we have a hard time letting go.
Forgiveness is the remedy. It allows you to focus on
the future without combating the past. To
understand the infinite potential of everything going
forward is to forgive everything already behind you.
Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed
and personal growth can never be achieved. It
doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting
what happened. It means you’re letting go of the
resentment and pain , and instead choosing to learn
from the incident and move on with your life.
5. Spend prolonged periods of time in
negative environments.
You can’t make positive choices for the rest of your
life without an environment that makes those choices
easy, natural, and enjoyable. So protect your spirit
and potential from contamination by limiting your
time with negative people and the environments they
inhabit.
When other people invite you to act like victims,
when they whine and moan about the unfairness of
life, for example, and ask you to agree, to offer
condolences, and to participate in their grievances,
WALK AWAY. When you join in that game of
negativity you always lose.
Even when you’re alone, create a positive mental
space for yourself. Make it a point to give up all the
thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just a few of
them that have been troubling you, and see how
doing that changes your life. You don’t need negative
thoughts. They are all lies. They solve nothing. All
they have ever given you is a false self that suffers
for no reason. (Read Buddha’s Brain .)
6. Resist the truth.
It is a certain deathtrap when we spend our lives
learning how to lie, because eventually these lies
grow so strong in our minds that we become bad at
seeing, telling and living our own truth. Lives come
apart so easily when they have been held together
with lies. If you resist the truth, you will live a lie
every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every
night. You simply can’t get away from your truth by
moving dishonestly from one place to the next.
So don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to hide
the truth with deception; don’t edit your own soul
according to the fashion of what’s popular. It is
better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false
one. It takes courage and strength to admit the truth,
but it is the only way to truly live. Accept what is,
embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie
ahead.