9 Warning Signs You’re in Bad Company

A big part of who you become in life has to do with
who you choose to surround yourself with.
Sometimes luck controls who walks into your life, but
you decide who you let stay, who you pursue, and
who you let walk back out.
Ultimately, you should surround yourself with people
who make you a better person and let go of those
who don’t. Here are some warning signs you’re in
the presence of the latter:
1. They only make time for you when it’s
convenient for them.
It’s obvious, but any relationship without regular
interaction and communication is going to have
problems, especially when there’s a lack of
commitment.
Don’t waste your time with someone who only wants
you around when it’s convenient for them. You
shouldn’t have to force someone to make a space in
their life for you, because if they truly care about you
they will gladly create space for you.
Being in a relationship with someone who overlooks
your worth isn’t loyalty, it’s stupidity. Never beg
someone for attention. Know your self-worth, and
move on if you must.
2. They hold your past against you.
Some people will refuse to accept that you are no
longer who you used to be – that you’ve made
mistakes in the past, learned from them, and moved
past them. They may not be able to stand the fact
that you’re growing and moving on with your life,
and so they will try to drag your past to catch up
with you. Do not help them by acknowledging their
negative behavior. Keep moving forward .
Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of
energy and serves no purpose in creating a better
day today. If someone continuously judges you by
your past and holds it against you, you might have to
repair your future by leaving them behind.
3. You feel trapped.
Healthy relationships keep the doors and windows
wide open. Plenty of air is flowing and no one feels
trapped. Relationships thrive in this kind of
unrestricted environment. You can come and go as
you please, but you choose to stay because where you
are is where you want to be.
If you want to be a part of someone’s life, all the
open doors and windows in the world won’t make
you leave. If someone has closed them all in an
effort to trap you into something you don’t want to
be a part of, it’s time to find the strength to kick
down the door. (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the
Relationships and Self-Love chapters of 1,000 Little Things
Happy, Successful People Do Differently .)
4. They discredit your dreams and abilities.
If you allow others to define your dreams and
abilities, then you enable them to hold you back.
What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of
what other people think is possible for you. What
you’re capable of achieving depends on what you
choose to do with your time and energy.
People will throw all sorts of assumptions your way
about what is possible and what is impossible. Look
beyond the presumptions and mental limitations of
others, and connect with your own best vision of how
YOUR life can be.  Life is an open-ended journey, and
what you achieve comes from what you expect to
achieve and what you work to achieve.
So don’t worry about what everyone else thinks.
Keep living your truth. The only people that will get
mad at you for doing so are those who want you to
live a lie.
5. They have lied to you more than once.
Love is a verb, not a noun. It is ACTIVE in all
relationships. Love is not just feelings of passion and
romance between lovers; it is also a behavior among
friends and family. If someone lies to you, they are
unlovingly disrespecting you and your relationship.
When you keep someone in your life who is a chronic
liar, and you keep giving them new chances to be
trusted, you have a lot in common with this person –
you’re both lying and being unloving to you!
Bottom line: Those who avoid the truth and tell you
only what you want to hear do so for their own
benefit, not yours. Don’t put up with it. (Read
Emotional Vampires .)
6. Their negativity is rubbing off on you.
The negative people in your life don’t just behave
negatively towards you, but towards everyone they
interact with. What they say and do is a projection of
their own reality – their own inner issues. Even if
they say something to you that seems personal – even
if they insult you directly – it likely has zero to do
with you.
This is important to remember because what these
negative people say and do shouldn’t be taken to
heart. Although you don’t have control over what
they say and do; you do have control over whether or
not you allow them to say and do these things to you.
You alone can deny their venomous words and
actions from invading your heart and mind.  If you
feel like these people are getting to you, take a break
and give yourself some space to breathe.
Positive things happen when you distance yourself
from negative people.  Doing so doesn’t mean you
hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.
7. They are excessively envious of what you
have.
A little bit of envy is OK, but when someone is
excessively envious of what you have, there’s a good
chance what they really want is to take it from you.
Excessive envy doesn’t tell you how much someone
admires you, it tells you how much they dislike
themselves. If you can, try to help lift them up, but
also be careful that they don’t pull you down.
Oftentimes no amount of love, or promises, or proof
from you will ever be enough to make them feel
better about themselves. For the broken pieces they
carry, are pieces they must mend for themselves.
Happiness, after all, is an inside job.
8. They motivate you to be judgmental or
hateful.
Truth be told, no human being is superior. No faith,
race, size or shape is inferior. All collective
judgments about others are wrong. Only judgmental
hypocrites make them.
If you judge others by their skin color, their body
size, and their outer beauty, you will miss
EVERYTHING about who they really are. It is
amazing the quality of people you will learn about
and meet in this world if you can simply get past the
fact that lots of people are not dressing and living the
way you do.
People who motivate you to judge or hate others are
as bad as bad company gets. Avoid them at all costs.
(Read The Mastery of Love .)
9. They want you to be someone else.
Spend time with people who see you the way you are,
and not as they wish to think you are. Spend even
more time with those who truly know about you, and
who love and respect you anyway.
If someone expects you to be someone you’re not,
take a step back. It’s wiser to lose relationships over
being who you are, than to keep them intact by acting
like someone you’re not.  It’s easier to nurse a little
heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece
together your own shattered identity. It’s easier to
fill an empty space within your life where someone
else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space
within yourself where YOU used to be.