10 Blessings That Come Hidden in Rejection, Losing and Failure

1. You’ll clarify your passions.
Many of us struggle with decision making. Folks with
creative energy typically have their hand in multiple pies.
But even a jack-of-all-trades knows there’s a limit to how
thin you can spread yourself.
Often, failure and losing result from diminished passion.
You'll realize you weren’t as passionate about that
project as first thought. The pruning effect is a positive.
As you clear your plate a little, you'll make more room
for what really excites you, and direct your energy
toward that. Focused energy is when you’re most
effective. Failure gets rid of fluff.
Related: How to Redefine Failure so You're Not Crippled
by It
2. You’ll uncover new skills.
Remember when George Bush nimbly dodged that
shoe aimed at his head? Nobody thought he had the skill
to do that. And I suspect neither did he. Until that
moment.
Facing challenges and enduring a loss compels you to
gather up resources and develop skills beyond your
arsenal. In cases of “hysterical strength,” where
people lift vehicles off someone trapped, it’s the negative
situation that creates the spike of adrenaline needed to
act beyond one’s capability.
Negative experiences cause us to respond in ways
beyond what we thought possible. The obstacle beckons
to be overcome. To rise to the occasion, there needs to
be an occasion.
3. You’ll find out who your friends are.
Take a spill and you’ll see who emerges out of the
Facebook crowd to lift you up. Sure, everyone’s busy,
but we make time for the things we value and care
about. “I’m too busy” can be translated, “It’s not that
important.”
Hitting rock bottom has a way of uncovering the healthy,
genuine relationships from the detrimental. You’ll want
to keep investing in those who are nursing your wounds,
and distancing yourself from those silent and nowhere to
be seen.
4. You’ll check your blind spots.
It only takes one accident for a driver to never forget to
check their blind-spot again. A harsh way to learn, but
some changes in behavior only happen with
major shocks to the system.
While there are habits and skills you haven’t yet
acquired, failures remind us of habits and skills we do
possess, but are simply lazy in implementing. After
suffering a burglary, you’ll never forget to lock the
screen door again.
Related: 5 Mistakes I've Made So You Don't Have To
5. You’ll Burn away pride and arrogance.
Nobody is immune to pride and arrogance. To say you’re
beyond pride and arrogance is a little…well…prideful and
arrogant. Losing is the glass of water for that bitter pill
of pride. But that unpleasant process gives birth to
humility. Which is perhaps the most attractive and
profitable virtue anyone can possess.
As the well known proverb goes, pride goeth before the
fall. Rejection and loss exchanges pride for humility, and
humility may be the saviour that keeps you from a truly
damaging fall.
6. You’ll grow elephant skin.
The shins of Muay Thai fighters can break baseball bats.
The micro-fractures from hours of kicking heavy bags
become filled with calcium, resulting in abnormal bone
density just as muscle fibers grow as a result of micro-
tears in the gym.
The adage rings true, it’s the pain that brings the gain.
Advice 101 for anyone stepping out to pursue their
dream is prepare for rejection, criticism and haters. With
each punch thrown your way, you’ll realize you can’t
please everyone, that the issue lies more with them than
with you and the impact will start to soften.
7. You’ll never again wonder “what if?”
The question of “what if?” can cause hours on end
staring out the window. When that curiosity is pursued
only to find you’ve boarded the wrong plane, failure is
the blessing that pulls you right off. You’ll no longer be
kept up at night wondering about that other option.
Curiosity can cripple your consciousness and
distract from the work you should be doing. But
sometimes engaging your own nagging is the only way
to silence it.
Seeing his father drink beer, a teenage Tony Robbins
begged his mother to let him try. Not only did she let him
try, she gave him a whole six-pack, and wouldn’t let him
leave until he drank every drop. Tony has never touched
alcohol since. The taste of his own vomit may have
something to do with that.
Related: 3 Ways Owning Your Mistakes Will Make You
Powerful
8. You’ll finally ask for help.
Everyone with passion and ambition is tragically plagued
with superhero-syndrome. That becomes harmful when
the candle is burning at both ends, drifting toward
burnout.
When the word “help” disappears from your vocabulary,
it’s found when you crash and burn. You'll realize the
skill of delegation is critical for your health and progress.
The pain teaches us to move from viewing help
negatively as a form of weakness, to positively
recognizing that success is expanding your own capacity
by forming a team.
9. You’ll go to the drawing board.
Failure encourages you to engage in iteration. The
process of reevaluating and refining produces a better
result. As the saying goes, Why fix it if it ain’t
broke? Some things need fixing, but reevaluation
seldom happens before something breaks.
One of the greatest human achievements is the 110-mile
swim from Cuba to Florida, without a shark cage. The
only individual in the world to accomplish that feat is 64-
year old Diana Nyad in 2013. It was her fifth attempt.
She tried once in 1978 and three more times from 2011
– 2012 before succeeding.
One major reason her fourth attempt was cut short was
jellyfish stings that left her face puffy and swollen. This
time, she wore a full body suit, gloves and a mask at
night—when jellyfish rise to the surface.
She failed, went back to the drawing board, made
iterations, then succeeded.
10. You’ll appreciate your success.
Value and meaning become heightened in the face of
difficulty. The greatest celebrations come from the
toughest battles. You’ll realize the dream isn’t all
rainbows and butterflies. When the journey includes
getting back on your feet and dusting yourself off, you’ll
be more inclined to stop when you see roses, and
express a little more gratitude at the finish line.
There are just 14 “eight-thousanders” on Earth, meaning
the tiny number of mountains higher than 8,000
meters. Few recognize the name Kangchenjunga while
Everest, just 262 meters higher, is a household name.
The failures and deaths attempting to climb Everest
make it the most respected and celebrated climb.
The bitterness of every failure adds sweetness to every
victory.
Related: What Scaling Mount Everest Taught M