3 Reasons Why Apologizing Hurts Your Business

When things go wrong in your business, do you
apologize? I’m not so sure that you should -- at least not
as much.
Just the other week, my Delta Airlines flight was delayed
because of the weather. The gate attendant apologized
to everyone for the delay. When we eventually took off,
the pilot came on the intercom and also apologized for
the delay. Recently, I called up Comcast because my
Internet wasn’t working. The customer service rep said,
“I’m very sorry that you’re having this problem,” and
promised to get my problem fixed (which he did).
But why were these people apologizing? In Delta’s case,
my flight delay was because of the weather, not the
airline. And my Internet problem? Oh, I forgot that I had
unplugged a cable when moving my computer. The
problem was me. These incidents were not the fault of
the companies. And yet they were so “sorry.”
Related: The 3 Essentials Customers Want Most
I’m guessing that apologizing is something customer
service people learn during training. For all I know, it’s a
proven psychological tactic, proven through years of
studies with mice.
But businesses seem to apologize a lot. Too much.
Customer service agents apologize if we’re unhappy
about anything nowadays, whether it’s their fault or not.
Waiters apologize to a customer when the customer
complains that the food is too spicy (even though the
menu says that the food is spicy). A store employee
apologizes when something is out of stock (even though
the customer is there a day after the big sale is
announced). The person behind the front desk
apologizes when a room isn’t ready yet, even though it
clearly states that check-in time is 3 p.m. A Verizon
employee apologies for the long wait on a
Saturday even though every person in the store is
dealing with customers.
Why are they apologizing so much? At what point does
the consumer -- your customer or client -- step up and
assume some responsibility here?
This is relevant in a service business because the
definition and quality of a service can be very debatable.
What some consider to be satisfactory might be
unsatisfactory to others.
My company sells customer-relationship-management
software and we have hundreds of happy clients. But we
also have our unhappy ones too. It's the same
software, same implementation, different reaction.
If a client is unhappy with the software, should I be
apologizing? Maybe they didn’t do enough
research. Maybe they’re not devoting the amount of
effort into the project that is needed to make it
successful. Service businesses seem to apologize for
everything -- it’s a knee jerk reaction. But often it’s not
the right reaction, for three reasons.
1. Apologies change the dynamics of the
relationships with your clients.
Saying you’re sorry all the time diminishes your
credibility. It puts the client into a superior position and
that’s not a recipe for a good relationship. Good
relationships are about equal and mutual respect, not
one party having dominance over the other.
If there is one party who must have authority over the
other, it should be you, the service provider. You are the
accountant, the lawyer, the consultant, the tech
professional. You’ve been hired for your expertise and
knowledge that the client doesn’t have. Saying “I’m
sorry” too much (particularly if things aren’t your fault)
will make your clients question whether they made the
right decision relying on your expertise.
Related: 10 Ways to Keep Making Your Clients Happier
and Happier
2. Apologies are often empty and
irrelevant.
The more that companies apologize, the less meaning it
has.
When Delta apologized for the late flight, people just
rolled their eyes, if they were paying attention at all.
When a customer rep from the Philippines profusely
apologizes for my Internet problem, it’s not really
heartfelt. Let’s be honest: does she really care? I’m sure
she doesn’t. We know this. We wouldn’t care either.
To make an apology meaningful, it should be delivered
less often and only when it’s really deserved.
3. Apologies open the door for more costs.
The minute that you admit fault, whether it’s justified or
not, a client will see an opening to profit. This is just
human nature.
Instead of apologizing, I like to say, “I’m disappointed to
hear that.” I’m concerned and want to fix the
problem. I’m being empathic without admitting fault.
Because in many cases my company is really not at
fault and I don’t want to just apologize for the sake of
it.
I’m all about making sure my clients are getting value for
the services we’re providing and sometimes I remove
hours from an invoice if there’s been some problem that
we caused. However, I try and leave the question of
whether that problem was our fault up to debate and
instead emerge as taking the high road by offering to
make an adjustment “in good faith” or “in order to move
things forward.” By not apologizing I’m keeping that
option available and I have a better control over my
costs.
This doesn’t mean that apologies aren’t necessary
sometimes. When we make mistakes we should own up,
apologize and fix them. But the best approach is to try
to keep your apologies to the minimum. By constantly
apologizing you may be hurting yourself more than you
think. And besides, customers don’t want apologies: they
just want to get what they paid for.