5 Negative Ways of Thinking You Need to Stop Today

Whether you’re an entrepreneur, freelancer, in
management or climbing up the corporate ladder, by
being negative, your worst enemy becomes yourself.
Yes, you might have some “enemies” in your life as well,
like the rude saleswoman who told you that dress you
were trying on looked too young for you. However, it's
up to you to deal with those snide comments by not
playing them over and over in your head.
Sadly, most people say worse things about themselves,
to themselves, than they would ever say about a friend
or even a stranger. It's good to pay attention to your
interior dialogue so you know when you're feeling
negatively, then you can take the steps to fix it. The
good news is that you’re in total control of changing how
you talk to yourself. Here are some of the most vicious
things we do to ourselves, why we do it, and how to
stop:
1. Convincing yourself you are worse than
you are.
Whether it’s fat, stupid, lazy or any other negative word,
it's best to just avoid that line of thinking. First of all,
those words turn what should be a verb into a noun. A
person, by nature, cannot be fat. Using the “I am” to
precursor any negative self-talk makes it that much
worse, it makes a person own it, and it reinforces it. Try
balancing it with “I feel” and “but” such as “I feel like I’m
carrying more weight than is healthy, but I’m also
strong.” Then make a plan of action to change if
necessary.
Related: How to Train Your Brain to Stay Positive
2. Deciding you can't do something before
you even try.
There are certainly things most people probably can’t do,
like become Miss America if they're in their 30s, married
and have three kids (they have rules, after all). However,
for the most part “I can’t” is really a way of saying “This
is hard” or “I feel overwhelmed.” While having a bucket
list is fantastic for some, there are many reasons that
it’s not a good idea. If you think you can’t do something,
try asking yourself first if you really want to do it.
3. Thinking everyone has a life better than
you.
Whether it’s getting their PhD, getting married, having
kids, traveling or getting promotions, success of others
doesn’t take away from your achievements. Everyone
has highs and lows. Everyone desires different things
and puts various values on different “achievements.”
There’s guaranteed to be someone who’s envious of
your life (and probably quite a few people). Avoid
comparing your life to others and focus on the value of
your own journey.
Related: The Bright Side of Negative Thinking
4. Believing you don't have time to reach
your goals.
Everyone gets just as many hours in the day as
Beyonce. In fact, time is the one equalizer: Everyone has
the same amount in a day, and nobody knows when
their days will run out. As such, it’s not an excuse not to
do what you want to do (but it’s often used as an
excuse to not do what you don’t want to do). While Life
Hacker gives tips on making it feel like you have more
time, the reality is that it’s still the same time, just better
spent.
5. Making impossible bargains with
yourself.
There are all kinds of bargains and deals we make with
ourselves. Sometimes they make sense. For example,
“When I save six months’ worth of income by August of
this year, I’ll file the license for by business.” That’s
smart planning with a feasible goal and end date in
mind. However, something like “When I lose 50 pounds,
I’ll find true love” is your mantra, it’s time to re-think your
goals, what’s important, and your dreams.
How much of your self-talk is helping you, and how
much is getting in your own way? Listen closely, and
you’ll be surprised by how much sabotage may be
happening.